If I Were a Rich Woman

Unless I was a courtesan in ancient Babylon, I would not wear these shoes.  That's 24K gold plate, and $600, at the outlet store!  They're still irredeemably ugly, thanks anyway Christan Dior. 

I might consider wearing these Manolo Blahnik's to a garden party, if my name was Poison Ivy, and everyone who had seen me wearing them would soon be dead of unnatural causes.

Thank god I'm not rich, and can wear sensible flats.